The Curious Introvert
The reason for labelling (I hate labels) myself The Curious Introvert is that the term “The non-conformist” is an un-gamely one. I prefer to think of myself as curious rather than rebellious. I am by nature along the non-conformist end of the conformist continuum. No effort required. But we are all sliding along the conformist/non-conformist spectrum daily. And because I tend toward over sensitivity and introversion I realise that other introverts may be drawn to my work and be more likely to understand what I am writing about. Put simply – I write honestly from a more introverted perspective. I can do no other. Welcome to the inside of my mind which as other introverts know is where I thrive and spend most of my time. Do I understand extraversion? I think so as my wife of nearly 40 years is mostly an extravert. We have survived by learning to understand the other. And of course none of us are either introvert of extravert but rather somewhere in between. I can do extraversion very well at times but it is not how I thrive and energise. We are both in a healthier place on this spectrum because of the other. A key message for a flexarian attitude.
Many authors consider themselves enlightened or gurus in some way. I do not. I am happy most of the time and most definitely a work in progress when it comes to reaching my limitless potential as a human being. As the saying goes we teach best what we need to learn.
However, I am in awe of the possibilities that will be discovered regarding humanity and exactly what we are and how we operate. And how far we are from knowing ourselves.
I consider us limited from birth, imprisoned by our conditioning for control, profit and maybe just because that is the way things have turned out with natural selection still in charge in a modern world. Nevertheless, I also know that if we claim our uniqueness this is far from a hopeless position. It makes “becoming” more of a challenge, and more valuable and special for that reason.
The first stage is always awareness and onwards from there. For me this awareness is what I call soul whispering. The world in which we live can be beautiful but even on good days is a pale shadow compared to what will be when we evolve our thinking and minds to break free from distractions and finally escape our very comfortable prisons in which we spend our mostly restless lives. We are so much more than we accept. Beneath our numerous fake personas our souls whisper, mostly ignored, for acceptance of who we truly are. We trade our soul’s freedom for piles of shiny stuff and popularity.
The fact is that maybe we can have it all without compromise or that once we hear our soul whisper (begin awareness) we no longer desire the stuff or popularity. This whispering is our conscious and subconscious mind attempting to get it together. Either scenario is possible and many others, although the former may just be an ego compromise. The road is more to release wanting and greed and aversion and hating – It is all either full-on ego or a well managed egoic mind – the two are constantly in a tug of war where the answer is to harmonise both by understanding the other. They are as one and the middle ground is the best place to be. One can’t exist without the other. And I dont know how good an ego-less mind would be at this game of life. So, if you are trying to rid yourself of ego. Stop and learn to co-exist. Because it is ego that you are using to try to get rid of ego. I am pretty sure the egoic mind will not go easily into self-destruction and it has its uses. As with everything else in this world separation is never the answer. A successful game of life is to be found in successfully managing the ego. There are many fallen angels and gurus that thought they could live without their opposite fully integrated. One opposite cannot exist without the other. Resistance is a futile and barren state of mind – harmony and acceptance is sowing the seeds of progress.
I would even go so far as to state that I view all religions and spititual practices as ego management systems. All ways to offset the genetic and cultural programming that will run riot through mankind otherwise. A subconscious realisation that our nature and nurture conditioning has to be mastered for the future good of mankind. How is that going? Not great but I am ever the optimist.
The main problem we have is our systems such as capitalism are set up by our egoic minds to fuel the greed (wanting) and hating (judgements) that lead to disatisfaction and a reluctance to search for the truth.
However, current literature would indicate that we are starting to understand at some level that we are wrong about our apparent world and how we are creating to a large extent our apparent reality. That is a start. Incidentally – it would seem that Buddhism and many religions have in their depths known the truth and over the years this truth has been buried beneath dogma and oversimplification and lost in trivial details that cost millions of lives – there just waiting to be discovered. Probably by the meeting of science and religion by open-minded people not stuck in their specialities. And knowing that life can never be reduced down to one end of any spectrum. The answers are to be found in unity not division.
For now, I feel a worthy ambition is less ego (mind) and then just let go and follow what we feel is right for us. As we sit inside of ourselves watching and listening to our ego perform it becomes easier to know that it is not us but merely an energy creation of the psyche created for survival in more dangerous times. For 21st century people survival is more than just staying alive. It has become about staying alive with the most stuff and being worshipped for our heroic awesomeness. That is ego and our stuff has become the false idols that we worship as our high-tech Gods.
I am sure this blog and my books are being written by egoic mind in various states. I am not sure ego-free mind alone would tell us much. I repeat – we teach best what we need to learn.
The reason I write at 2am is with the knowledge that the more I can write from my deep subconscious flow the more likely I am to tap into unconscious material. Material from long buried personal shadow or from universal mind. The writing is more honest. I know this as often upon rereading my conscious mind cringes at what I have written and would love to be more guarded and censor my work. What will people think? My subconscious doesn’t give a toss what others think. I do realise honesty as a trait is something we humans don’t like too much of. We tend to judge and get on our moral perches because it reflects too closely to our truth. That is ego and we must learn to trust ourselves to be honest regardless of what others think. We learn most from challenging situations.
The greater the challenge, the greater the potential for raising personal vibrations and growth or expansion of consciousness – embrace every challenge as a blessing no matter how tough it feels at the start.
This blog and my books is mostly about being yourself unconditionally. Or if you prefer attempting to de-programme ourselves. I hope we all enjoy the experience but more importantly I hope we grow from the experience.
*AGREE OR DISAGREE*
If you like my writing or it at least gets you thinking about your life
Adam Senex -x-